Feeling guilty is probably one of the WORST feelings ever, almost as bad as that feeling that you want to throw up but you just can't! A few weeks ago, I experienced an episode of tremendous guilt. Let's go back.
My ABD decided, after a weekend getaway, for his college homecoming, that I needed a break of my own. He realized this when he woke up at 10am on a Saturday morning, completely UNHEARD of in my life, and thought "Baby Mama has been up with Miyagi for hours already". When he came home he suggested that I take a weekend and go visit one of my besties in Atlanta. For the next few days I was on a roller coaster of emotions and I hate roller coasters! Part of me wanted to go and spend some time just for myself and eating Taqueria del Sol (if you've never been, you've never lived) but then part of me couldn't think about living Miyagi! I had never spent the night in a house or hotel without him. Also, as dumb as this sounds, considering my ABD is great at what he does, I didn't want him to be stressed out handling Miyagi all by himself.
I toyed with the idea of going for a few days. I went to look for flights and they were RIDICULOUS! Almost $400 for a Friday evening-Sunday morning trip....OH HECKY NAW! (hahaha). But, then that ABD chimed in with "you can't put a price on something like this"-->Really, where did he come from and how did I get so lucky? I still wasn't convinced. I decided the next day I should just do it. I went online, put in my flight information and the flights had dropped to $130! Round trip!! I am a HUGE believer in signs, so I knew this was the powers above telling me, "Now you have no excuse."
The time came and I had terrible anxiety about leaving. I made a helpful (or what I considered) helpful tip list for ABD to follow. Again, he impressed me by telling me to call as many times I felt I needed and he was making sure he knew everything to do before I even left. FAST FORWARD..........
I boarded the plane. I landed in Atlanta. Rode the Marta. Ate amazing Sushi. Took in a cultural event (Martinis and IMAX). Ate Taqueria (and a lot of it). Went shopping. Enjoyed some ballet (my bestie is a teacher and her student was performing). Got a massage. Slept in until 8:30am! It was great. But of course....as the title of this post suggests, there was guilt.
Surprisingly...the guilt was... I felt guilty for NOT feeling guilty that I took time to myself. I arrived home to a sweet moment. First thing I see when opening the door. My ABD with Miyagi taking a nap on his daddy's chest (dang it, when do these baby "hormones" ever go away, I am almost tearing up just thinking about that).
They survived and more importantly, I survived!
BONUS FOOTAGE: This made me think of other things that I should feel "Guilty" about, but in reality, I don't!
1.) Miyagi doesn't listen to "kid" music all the time. Yeah, so what if he hears lots of Lil Wayne, Drake, and Outkast.
2.) Sometimes on the weekends, he watches cartoons in the morning--HOURS of them! Well, the TV is on. How much he takes in, I don't know.
3.) I give him those Gerber baby Cheeto looking things as part of his dinner.
4.) We don't read to him every single day. Hopefully, the mortgage that I am shelling out, otherwise known as daycare, is making up for that.
5.) When Miyagi falls, from trying to walk to fast, I giggle.
Okay, that's enough for now.