NOPE! NOPE! Nope! This is not how I'm publicly announcing that we are expecting another child (although I am giggling thinking of the hate emails I will get).
We are embarking on Age 2. The "Terrible Twos". Which I've acutally been informed, by several reliable sources, that Age 3-18 are MUCH worse. Either way, I'm mentally preparing myself for an incredibly exciting and challenging year. I'm pretty sure I thought that about Age 1, but we mananged to get through this past year rather effortlessly. Sure there were challenges, but nothing that drove me to insanity (i was there a looonnnggg time ago)
However, 2..... Oh my gosh, I will have a 2 year old!
Why I will like having a 2 year old:
- Confirmation that the first year was not a fluke and my mama super powers of growing a person also extends to keeping one alive
- Increased vocabulary. Miyagi is going to be hilarious! (he comes from a long line of "big" personalities)
- ....... welp, that sums up that list
Why I will NOT like having a 2 year old:
- Potty training: (even though we have semi-outsourced this task to our daycare providers and I'm hoping that all I will need to do is reinforce)
- Moving to a big kid bed: I'm keeping him in the crib as long as possible! The last thing I want to deal with is getting up in the middle of the night to stop him from playing OR even creepier.... waking up to a little person staring at me! That's how kids get punched!
- Tantrums, tantrums, tantrums: There is no hope for this. I tend to have a smart mouth and ABD can get angrier faster than Kim Kardashian can get divorced. So... we have created a lethal weapon!
- Independence/Control: apparently small children think they run shit! The word "NO" is a powerful tool to them and I don't like being told NO.
- Discipline: UGHHH! My head hurts. Timeouts, spankings, whatever the choice may be...how painful. Not for Miyagi, hello, he did something wrong... but for me! As ABD pointed out... until Miyagi can sit in timeout alone, it's really punishment for me too!
- Even though I pretend to be a hard ass sometimes, I don't like seeing my baby boy cry. But I'm not doing my job if at some point he doesn't hate me! I hated my dad for many many years-- but I never went to jail or wound up on Teen Mom, so he did something right!
Geessh....That's a 5 to 2 list.... not looking good! Naturally, the first instinct to get through this is to take a lesson from the Real Housewives -- drink wine from AM to PM! But, that could end up with me being on Intervention...not a good look either. Well, maybe the only way to end up not being an alcoholic is to get pregnant so I can't drink. HAHAHAHA! (just serious)
HOLLA!
Apparently I am on a 4 month cycle of writing posts. I would like to say it's because I'm sooo busy doing wonderful things with Baby Daddy and Miyagi..... but most of it's sheer laziness :-) BUT.... I did have a vital organ removed (okay, vital is probably not even close, but an organ was removed) so that kept me down for a while.
SIDE NOTE: Even though the only people who read this are those who know me, I'm probably going to use this blog in 10 years when my memory is completely gone to remember things that happened. Gallbladder removed, check! Realization that Baby Daddy is amazing and steps up to the plate to be Mr. Mom, check!
The other day, while Jake and the Neverland Pirates was on, I found myself staring at Miyagi. Not just gazing, but staring! Like Level 5 creeper at the bar staring. I just continue to be so amazed at him. I know my last post talked about realizing that I was IN LOVE with him, and that hasn't changed.... the love and sheer amazement just keeps getting stronger. Who knew that your heart was the most elastic muscle in your body (it is a muscle, right?) It can just expand and grow beyond comprehension.
I'm just so proud of him. Every new thing he does or says I just want to jump up and down and tell the world! (generally I just send all my friends pictures of him doing pretty mundane stuff, but I think it's awesome... and because they are my friends, they better think it's AWESOME, too)!
And you know what, damnit, I'm proud of myself! (and Baby Daddy, but this isn't his blog). Being a mom is NOT easy! You doubt yourself, ALL THE TIME! You sacrifice, a LOT! Your job never ends. But it's so worth it! And so far.... I think I've done a pretty awesome job with this little one! I would hope that I have taught him some things. I hope my cheers for him when he does something give him the confidence that he needs to try new things (but new things does NOT include new foods, still working on that). I hope that saying 'NO' to him teaches him that sometimes I do know best, but that NO doesn't mean I don't love you.
It does keep getting better, but with each new word and milestone, my heart hurts a little more. He's growing up. Sure, he's not dating (even though he does give smooches and FaceTime with his boo) or going off to college yet, but it's all happening so fast!
I am excited for each new step, but for every CHEER, I secretly shed 2 TEARS (damn, that was good!)
I'm trademarking that.... somehow! This counts as documentation. Maybe I'll make shirts and get famous!
Holla!
That title means so much more than just the literal sense. I can't believe it's been almost 4 months since I've written a post and I can't believe how much Miyagi is growing! We are rapidly approaching the 18 month (or year and a half --for those who don't like the continual use of months) mark!
I can't even begin to recount all of the things that have changed, and no they aren't meticulously documented in a baby book either (I gave up on that, ha). What I can say is that at some point in the past few months I finally experienced that "I am so in love with my child" moment.
1.) I don't care if you think that's weird, trust me, I did too-- "How can you be IN LOVE with your child"
2.) I also don't care if you are thinking --"How is she just now thinking that, I've been in love with my kid since Day 1" -- to that comment, I would say you are lying, ha!
I've always loved Miyagi. I've always thought his presence was pretty miraculous. But, for a long time, babies are kind of lame. Kind of like a pair of bad @$$ shoes! Awesome to look at, but kind of worthless! They sometimes can make you cry and some times you just want to chuck them across the room! Let's all be honest with ourselves :-)
But recently I have just been in complete awe of what he can do! He has such a big personality (wonder where that comes from) and is just so smart! Yes, I think my child is the smartest little person I've ever known.... and all you other parents should be saying "Nope, mine is" -- cause as a good parent, we should ALWAYS be our children's #1 supporters!
I know that a lot of his amazingness comes from the two amazing people that came together and created him, but we can't take all of the credit. WARNING: the following is a discussion about my feelings on daycare vs. staying at home. If you get offended, please stop reading and go live in your little world where no one else can have opinions different from your own.
I love what he has learned from being at his daycare. I truly believe that he is more social and a little more independent than I could have done on my own. (Maybe not, but this is all I know...maybe I would rock the stay-at-home-mom look. I know some incredible stay at home moms, and I would want to be just like them if that was the right decision for me.)
- He's so helpful!
- He cleans up his toys like it's an olympic sport!
- He throws trash away without having to be asked! (and sometimes some things that aren't trash).
- He puts his cup up in the sink when he is done.
- His ability to understand directions is just beyond my comprehension!
- He loves to sit and listen to stories.
- He does great with routines--which is fabulous for nap times! After lunch, we take a nap no fussing (yea, I said we cause sometimes mama needs to lay down).
Don't get me wrong, I have my guilty moments where I think "Should I be with him more....will I regret this". But I know it's right. I love the end of the day when I pick him up and even more, I love the time we get to spend together on the weekends. I firmly believe that QUALITY trumps quantity! (except in the case of money. All dollars are the same, but more is better). I cherish every moment (well, not all, but that's what Nick Jr. is for!). I will step off my soap box now!
Yeah, I'm in love with this little one!
I never knew that I would be blessed enough to say "I'm in love with two men"!!! But I'll take it!
HOLLA!
This morning I was looking on facebook, for the usual --nothing great.....but then I came across a post from a friend. She was referencing a post, "Joy or Just Wait" on a blog (I've included the link at the bottom of this post).
The basics were....as 'experienced' parents we sometimes tell other new parents about the impending doom they are about to experience. Diaper blowouts, teething, ear infections, sleepless nights, etc. But instead, we should be sharing the "Just Wait" moments that make your heart melt (or in my case, make me want to cry just thinking about). So I decided to document a few of my favorite "Just Wait" moments for those of you out there who haven't experienced them yet. I hope it makes you excited for what is ahead, or for those of you who have passed this stage...it makes you think back to your own!
JUST WAIT.......
- Until you can lay in bed and listen to your little one blabbing away on the monitor, but realize they are just talking and entertaining themselves, and don't really need you to get back to sleep.
- Until you go in to wake your little one up, in the morning, and cutie pie is just standing there waiting for you with a smile on their face.
- Until you hear that belly laugh, from your little one, at the silly face or game you are playing. They think you are hilarious and it's so great!
- Until you see the joy and excitement on your little one's face when they have figured something out (stacking blocks, putting something in a bin, rolling over).
- Until you don't only see the joy and excitement, but they clap to let you know how proud they are they did it!
- Until your little one wants nothing else but just to sit in your lap or lay their head on your shoulder. They know the safest place is in your arms.
- (Pause....wooh, starting to tear up a little thinking of Miyagi)
- Until you go to pick your little one up (from daycare, grandparents, play date) and they can't get to you quick enough (it's even better if there are screams and a kid that gets pushed out of the way).
- Until you say "Kiss" and your little one comes over and plants a big, wet, sloppy, open mouth kiss right on your lips!
- Until you see your little one understanding and communicating with you. I love when Miyagi can sign to me "all done" and "more"
- Until you realize that your little one is an incredible person and YOU are responsible for that.
I can't wait for the rest of the "Just Waits" I get to experience!
Holla
I'm remembering a time when I thought I was confident, a little witty, and a smart woman. Problems could be thrown in my direction and I was sure, with a little time, I could figure out a solution. May not have been the perfect solution, but it was something!
Then I had Miyagi. Of course there were those moments when, as a baby, I spent so much time agonizing over the little things. Is he sleeping enough? Is he getting enough to eat? Is he stimulated? Does he like me? But, over time I figured it out and the solution presented itself (or in reality, something else probably happened and that "problem" I cared about before, just wasn't important any more).
But now....now that Miyagi is a "toddler" I realized, last night, that the woman I once was, is DEAD! No, not in the Lifetime movie way where a crazy child has some how managed to physically end a grown adult's life, but mentally.... he is getting into my head and zapping all those "smart" parts of my brain.
Toddlers are tricky, sneaky and manipulative! You think for one second you have them figured out... "Oh, he loves to eat carrots and chicken" yeah, but that was Tuesday and today is now Wednesday and he wants nothing to do with it. And he looks at you and says (with those devious eyes), "Now what"--like he has you totally punked! (which he does).
Or better yet, one minute you both are on the floor playing with some toy that seems to be interesting, giggling and laughing and then in a millisecond..... your toddler has arched his back, thrown himself on the floor (exorcist style) and is crying hysterically. You sit there stunned, like a deer in F-ing headlights, what just happened. You can't move. You don't know what to do. You look for help and no one is around. That smart woman who would have had an answer, oh yeah, she's dead!
So you wait. And wait, and wait. And sure enough just as quickly as he changed from angel to psychiatric patient waiting for evaluation, he's back....giggling and laughing.
So maybe that's it...... just as quickly as they change one way, they just as easily can go back. The only thing you can do is just wait it out.
OMG! Was that a solution? ....yes, my friends, it was!
I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have risen from the Dead, like a phoenix from the ashes (okay, a little dramatic, but a good visual!)
The transition has begun, both literally and physically. We are transitioning from the familiar land of infancy to the new uncharted waters of being a toddler! Miyagi's first birthday is quickly approaching, 17 days to be exact. He's leaving behind the "boring" life of an infant and running, with lots of stumbles, towards a more independent life. (I realize using the word independent might be a stretch, but it sounded good). <--that was the "literal" part of the transition, the physical part....he's moving up to the toddler room at daycare (insert sniffle from mama, HERE).
If I took the time to express all of the emotions, thoughts, fears, bouts of excitement that I am feeling, this would turn into something way longer than anyone wants to read. So instead, I'll just highlight some of the things I'll miss about the baby stage, the things I'm NOT excited for about having a toddler, and I'll end on an optimistic note of the things I can't wait for!
1.) Of course hindsight is 20/20. But babies are pretty easy. Once you get them eating on a schedule, sleeping through the night, and worked out your favorite method for getting out the poop, it's a piece of cake! They are pretty much awesome accesories that turn your house into a home :-) They can't move much and that's pretty great! I realized how much I was going to miss this as I needed to go to the bathroom and little Miyagi just walked right into the bathroom with me....couldn't really shut the door on him, now could I.
2.) Entertaining a toddler is a LOT of work! They have short attention spans, second only to adult males, so the activity that seemed so fun at 3:38pm is now totally not acceptable at 3:45pm. Not to mention your house now looks like Toys R US had to much fun the night before and threw up all over the house!
3.) As amazing as it is, those little suckers are starting to let their personality show! Don't like the food you are offering...I'll shut my mouth and turn my head. Don't want to lay down, I'll scream and scream and scream, so much that for a moment I might stop breathing and be close to puking! Getting in their personal space or playing with a toy that they want, it's time to FIGHT! (head butting and Tyson punches). Cuddle time, I'll pass...too much to see, oh but wait, now I want you to pick me up. Wait, no, I want to be put down, pick me up, put me down!
4.) Watching them learn how to communicate though, is truly amazing! Miyagi can understand simple commands, not like a dog, but if we ask him to do something "give me your bottle" he does. Or hearing them try to mimic what you say "All Done" or responding to a question, even if it's a grunt...it's pretty darn cool! I can't wait to hear what his little voice sounds like....until the day he tells me "NO"...then it's on, like donkey kong!
And finally...... NO MORE FORMULA! WOOOHOOO! Obviously, to my super awesome Boobie Feeding mommies, you don't get how cool it will be NOT to buy formula, but I feel it's a reason to celebrate. That first gallon of milk....I might start singing "We pop whole milk cause we got that dough"..My mama remix to Trey Songz!
Feeling guilty is probably one of the WORST feelings ever, almost as bad as that feeling that you want to throw up but you just can't! A few weeks ago, I experienced an episode of tremendous guilt. Let's go back.
My ABD decided, after a weekend getaway, for his college homecoming, that I needed a break of my own. He realized this when he woke up at 10am on a Saturday morning, completely UNHEARD of in my life, and thought "Baby Mama has been up with Miyagi for hours already". When he came home he suggested that I take a weekend and go visit one of my besties in Atlanta. For the next few days I was on a roller coaster of emotions and I hate roller coasters! Part of me wanted to go and spend some time just for myself and eating Taqueria del Sol (if you've never been, you've never lived) but then part of me couldn't think about living Miyagi! I had never spent the night in a house or hotel without him. Also, as dumb as this sounds, considering my ABD is great at what he does, I didn't want him to be stressed out handling Miyagi all by himself.
I toyed with the idea of going for a few days. I went to look for flights and they were RIDICULOUS! Almost $400 for a Friday evening-Sunday morning trip....OH HECKY NAW! (hahaha). But, then that ABD chimed in with "you can't put a price on something like this"-->Really, where did he come from and how did I get so lucky? I still wasn't convinced. I decided the next day I should just do it. I went online, put in my flight information and the flights had dropped to $130! Round trip!! I am a HUGE believer in signs, so I knew this was the powers above telling me, "Now you have no excuse."
The time came and I had terrible anxiety about leaving. I made a helpful (or what I considered) helpful tip list for ABD to follow. Again, he impressed me by telling me to call as many times I felt I needed and he was making sure he knew everything to do before I even left. FAST FORWARD..........
I boarded the plane. I landed in Atlanta. Rode the Marta. Ate amazing Sushi. Took in a cultural event (Martinis and IMAX). Ate Taqueria (and a lot of it). Went shopping. Enjoyed some ballet (my bestie is a teacher and her student was performing). Got a massage. Slept in until 8:30am! It was great. But of course....as the title of this post suggests, there was guilt.
Surprisingly...the guilt was... I felt guilty for NOT feeling guilty that I took time to myself. I arrived home to a sweet moment. First thing I see when opening the door. My ABD with Miyagi taking a nap on his daddy's chest (dang it, when do these baby "hormones" ever go away, I am almost tearing up just thinking about that).
They survived and more importantly, I survived!
BONUS FOOTAGE: This made me think of other things that I should feel "Guilty" about, but in reality, I don't!
1.) Miyagi doesn't listen to "kid" music all the time. Yeah, so what if he hears lots of Lil Wayne, Drake, and Outkast.
2.) Sometimes on the weekends, he watches cartoons in the morning--HOURS of them! Well, the TV is on. How much he takes in, I don't know.
3.) I give him those Gerber baby Cheeto looking things as part of his dinner.
4.) We don't read to him every single day. Hopefully, the mortgage that I am shelling out, otherwise known as daycare, is making up for that.
5.) When Miyagi falls, from trying to walk to fast, I giggle.
Okay, that's enough for now.
