I'm remembering a time when I thought I was confident, a little witty, and a smart woman. Problems could be thrown in my direction and I was sure, with a little time, I could figure out a solution. May not have been the perfect solution, but it was something!
Then I had Miyagi. Of course there were those moments when, as a baby, I spent so much time agonizing over the little things. Is he sleeping enough? Is he getting enough to eat? Is he stimulated? Does he like me? But, over time I figured it out and the solution presented itself (or in reality, something else probably happened and that "problem" I cared about before, just wasn't important any more).
But now....now that Miyagi is a "toddler" I realized, last night, that the woman I once was, is DEAD! No, not in the Lifetime movie way where a crazy child has some how managed to physically end a grown adult's life, but mentally.... he is getting into my head and zapping all those "smart" parts of my brain.
Toddlers are tricky, sneaky and manipulative! You think for one second you have them figured out... "Oh, he loves to eat carrots and chicken" yeah, but that was Tuesday and today is now Wednesday and he wants nothing to do with it. And he looks at you and says (with those devious eyes), "Now what"--like he has you totally punked! (which he does).
Or better yet, one minute you both are on the floor playing with some toy that seems to be interesting, giggling and laughing and then in a millisecond..... your toddler has arched his back, thrown himself on the floor (exorcist style) and is crying hysterically. You sit there stunned, like a deer in F-ing headlights, what just happened. You can't move. You don't know what to do. You look for help and no one is around. That smart woman who would have had an answer, oh yeah, she's dead!
So you wait. And wait, and wait. And sure enough just as quickly as he changed from angel to psychiatric patient waiting for evaluation, he's back....giggling and laughing.
So maybe that's it...... just as quickly as they change one way, they just as easily can go back. The only thing you can do is just wait it out.
OMG! Was that a solution? ....yes, my friends, it was!
I'm BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have risen from the Dead, like a phoenix from the ashes (okay, a little dramatic, but a good visual!)